


Mikannie Week Day 3, Anchor in the stormy seas

by Valjinic



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Divergence, Canon Universe, Emotional, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Feelsy, both of these couldn’t start a feelsy conversation, even if their life depended on it, slightly OOC because, time altered
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:41:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27375871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valjinic/pseuds/Valjinic
Summary: Day 3 of the @mikannieweek 2020, with the prompt canon - verse! Late at night, before the group parts onto the plan and ship, two lost, young women can’t sleep -- both too occupied with their own thoughts and struggles. As they meet in one of the ship halls, they slowly began to talk, and Mikasa offered herself to be the anchor in the storming sea of emotions that Annie needs in that very moment.
Relationships: Mikasa Ackerman/Annie Leonhart
Comments: 6
Kudos: 45





	Mikannie Week Day 3, Anchor in the stormy seas

**Author's Note:**

> It's day 3 of Mikannie week and I really wanted to publish some things for it!
> 
> As always: I do not own these characters or aot (it would be a lot gayer if I would) and I hope you enjoy the read!

A young woman with short, black hair was aimlessly strolling through the dark hallways of the ship and storage halls, her way only being lightened up by the few faint rays of the moonlight that shone through the small windows from time to time. Her gaze was fixated on the floor, her brows furrowed as she slowly walked into one of the halls.

She only looked up once she stepped through the door frame of the hallway that connected the halls, seemingly checking where she was. Just as she wanted to continue her stroll, she noticed a silhouette in the corner of her eye.

The young woman raised her eyebrow and turned her head in that direction to see another person leaning against the reeling of the water canal which lead ships outside. She padded towards the person and narrowed her eyes in hopes of recognizing the features. As she got close enough, she could distinguish the light blonde hair and parts of their hoodie being illuminated by the moonlight.

“Annie?” She stopped focusing her eyes the moment she recognized the other woman and looked at her back with a tilted head – but she got no reaction of her, not even a movement of the head to show that she heard Mikasa calling her name.

After a few seconds of waiting with no reply, Mikasa got a step closer and began to stretch her hand out after the smaller woman – only to hesitate in her movement and stop just as she was about to touch her shoulder.

Annie was seemingly so lost in thoughts that she neither heard the steps echoing through the hall, nor her name being called; She hasn’t really noticed anything of her environment. If she now would suddenly feel a grip on her shoulder – Mikasa shook her head at the thought of most likely scaring her to death and completely shutting herself in out of shock.

Instead she decided to not pursue her concerns about Annie’s behavior any further for now and padded next to the other girl. Leaning against the iron fence, Mikasa watched the small waves of the water stream and the hall fell into silence once more.

* * *

Minutes passed without neither saying a word, both seemingly too lost in their thoughts and memories to say something. That was until Annie tilted her head towards Mikasa, her cheek resting on her hands.

Even if the movement was small, it was still registered by the taller woman, who lifted her head up, still seeming to be in thoughts before stating: “It’s a quiet night, isn’t it?”

Annie’s mouth opened a little before she closed it again, raising an eyebrow as she tried to make a sense out of the sheer random question. However, she did not ask about it and instead stayed silent.

Mikasa followed her example and the hall fell into silence once more – but only for a few moments.

“So…” Annie’s propped herself up with her elbows, her gaze staying focused on the taller woman next to her. “What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing, you know?” Mikasa moved her head slightly to eye Annie, who silently stared at her without commenting. And so Mikasa shrugged her shoulders before explaining: “Well – I couldn’t sleep.”

“Because of Eren?”

“Yeah–“ Mikasa sighed before she stared down at the water stream. As she watched it flow, she quietly carried on– “Everything honestly. So much is going on and is at stake… Taking a walk helps me in sorting it all out – and to get a clear mind again.”

“I see…” Annie nodded slowly while listening, her gaze trailing to the water once more. “Well… I mean – uh, if talking about it helps you–“

Mikasa let out a soft chuckle, something which made Annie blink and quickly turn her head to the taller woman, only to see her shaking her head with a soft smile: “It’s fine, thinking helps enough. Besides –“ She tilted her head slightly as her gaze and smile softened even more– “I wouldn’t want to put even more weight onto your shoulders with worries… Seeing that you seem to be fighting your very own battle right now.”

“I –“ The blonde’s eyes widened slightly and she opened her mouth to say something, but only one word managed to slip out. She tried again, but she couldn’t find the right things to reply about Mikasa’s very true observation, and so she lowered her gaze and started to fiddle with the sleeve of her, a little too big, blouse.

Mikasa watched the smaller woman’s reaction with a soft, understanding look in her eyes and patiently waited for her to settle on what to do before she elaborated: “Annie, I’ve still known you for years. It’s – not that hard to tell when something is of, for any of us. We’ve all still been one troop. It’s not like you to be _that_ quiet and lost in thoughts. You were so deep in them that you didn’t even hear me in the slightest.”

Quietness filled the hall as Annie stared on the floor and bit her lip, seemingly thinking before she let out a soft sigh: “I mean… I did hear you, kind of. But…“

Her voice broke, and silence filled the room. Annie’s mouth opened again, but no sound came out. It was as if she wasn’t even sure on what to say. Mikasa’s face only softened more at the sight and she carefully put a hand on the blonde’s shoulder: “But you didn’t have the energy to react while thinking about it. It’s okay.”

The blonde looked up at her when she felt the light grasp on her shoulder, her mouth still opened before sighing quietly.

Mikasa tilted her head as she watched the smaller woman in front of her, her eyes showing the sympathy she felt for her situation as she quietly suggested: “Do _you_ want to talk about it though?”

Annie’s eyes widened at first, though she averted her eyes while mumbling: “You know– I can say the same back about not wanting to add more weight…”

“If it helps you.” The taller woman shrugged before turning around to fully leaning against the reeling again. She did notice Annie silently watching her movements, but since no words followed from the smaller one, she decided to elaborate: “I appreciate the concern, but it’s alright – I’ve made up my mind about it already. No matter how I look at it, it won’t change anyways; it won’t change the fact that I’m set on bringing Eren back.”

At last Mikasa turned her head around and propped her face on her hands to look at Annie, who was in a similar position, her eyes not fully focused on Mikasa as she listened to her observation: “But I notice that it’s not that easy for you – yet at least. Whatever it is, it’s heavy, I can tell. So if talking about it helps you to ease it, I see no problem in listening.”

“I…” Annie averted her gaze from Mikasa and bit her lip, seemingly thinking of what to say. “I – don’t know. It’s just –”

“Too much. Everything is.” The blonde’s head hung low as she let out a deep breath, her eyes by now focusing on the water stream instead of averting Mikasa’s gentle, caring look. “I’m – I’m here now, on humanity’s side. Even… even though –“

Her voice broke and she could not finish the sentence. She again took a deep breath, trying to hinder herself from sobbing out loud. And Mikasa’s expression turned from gentle into a pained one, yet she didn’t know how she could possibly help in this dilemma, which only was the beginning – and so she decided to silently listen when Annie regained her quiet voice: “It’s… nothing personal, you know…? But I know what I saw… and what I was told – and I can’t bring myself to just ignore it – even if we’re on the same end now. We’re – running, and at the same time prepare for a final battle –“

Annie’s voice grew quieter and more hoarse, her hands loosened the grip on the fence and began to shake, while she got lost in her thoughts and tried to form some kind of sense as all the words she could think of left her mouth: “But… I don’t want to fight anymore… not against you, or anyone else… And –“

Once more she struggled to finish the sentence, or the thought that ran through her mind as she interrupted herself with a loud sob, hiccups and sobs leaving her mouth in between her words until she could not speak properly anymore: “And now – I... I don’t have a reason to fight… anymore –“

Strong arms wrapped themselves around the shaking blonde and pulled her closer to embrace her in a tight and warm hug, so tight – she felt like the air left her lungs for a moment, making her gasp loud in surprise. As she looked up with an open mouth and wide eyes, tears still streaming down her face, her gaze met Mikasa’s small yet pained eyes.

Annie felt as if time stood still for an eternity where they just stared at each other – yet it was only a few seconds until Mikasa whispered, almost inaudibly for her: “I’m here for you, Annie.”

_______________________________________

Mikasa couldn’t tell what exactly drove her to this; she couldn’t tell what this almost magical force was that made her step closer to the blonde – that aching in her heart as she saw her breaking down about something she could only guess she knew oh so well in a way. She couldn’t why those soft, comforting words left her mouth, but they did – and it felt right.

And so, as Annie averted her gaze again and simply rested her head against Mikasa’s chest to let her tears fall freely, the dark haired woman began to rub her back in slow circles to calm her down.

While watching the smaller blonde she couldn’t help but to bit her lip, the pained expression deepening – something that Annie gladly didn’t see. She knew that she should say more, or something for the matter; but what was there for her to say that would have the wanted impact? She still could only guess what it was that pains Annie so much, and that it was linked to her break down at the mention of not being able to save Liberio – but guessing didn’t help her in finding up cheering words. It never was a strength of her to begin with, especially if she doesn’t even know from what exactly she should cheer the other up.

“Hey…” Mikasa’s voice was only a whisper when she began talking, her mind roaming with the most various thoughts and phrases as she tried to find some way of saying the right words. “You don’t have to fight anyone… not against them, or us… But –“

Mikasa could feel Annie head moving a little up at the last words, the sobbing quietening down for a second – until it began again. The taller women assumed it was an attempt to stop, and proceeded to rub her back with a hint of more pressure when she elaborated: “But… you have to against yourself… in a way. I – I can only guess what was in Liberio. And – I never wish to find out how it’s like… I –“

_______________________________________

Once more she stopped to try and find the last words again, but Annie didn’t fully notice. Her heart clenched at the mentioning of Liberio; her fists balled together and clasped onto the thin jacket Mikasa was wearing as she sobbed out loud. But through all this she could still notice how much Mikasa struggled with this situation as well. Annie tilted her head and looked up to see Mikasa biting her lip and staring past her; this sight made her look down for a split second and mumble in between tears: “I – I’m sorry… to burden you with this…”

“Don’t have to be.” Mikasa’s look was focused on Annie the moment she heard her speaking, and her gaze softened at the apology and made her shake her head. “It’s – tough for you, and sometimes we need to let it out… It’s okay.”

For a moment nothing more was said, all you could hear were sniffles and sobs, while Mikasa silently rubbed the blonde’s back. Only after letting out a quiet sigh Mikasa murmured: “ _I_ am sorry though.”

As she saw Annie slowly moving her head up to look at her with confused, teary eyes and a tilted head, she continued: “I should have known that mentioning your home would hurt. So I’m sorry for making you feel worse.”

“No – No, it’s okay…” Annie croaked as she weakly shook her head, “It’s not your fault… It’s just… Thinking about my father hurts.”

The dark-haired woman attentively listened as Annie’s voice grew quieter and quieter into a hoarse whisper: “I… I promised him that I’ll come back… And I couldn’t keep it.”

More tears began to stream down the small blonde’s eyes once more as she thought about it, and so she buried her face into the taller woman’s shoulder, while said woman hugged her closer again. With a soft look in her face she crooned “Don’t say that… In a way you can still keep it.”

“Huh..?”

“One day you’ll meet each other again, Annie. But that day isn’t today… nor very soon.” As Mikasa softly explained, one of her hands slowly moved up to Annie’s face to carefully brush some strands of hair behind her ear. “I’m sure he knows too… I’m also sure that he still loves you… and that he’d want you to live your life until the time to meet again comes.”

The small blonde found herself leaning into the touch, feeling her aching heart relax just slightly – and her mind slowly wandering away to think about what was said. “Yeah…”

* * *

Over the time, Annie’s sobs and tears fully faded – yet neither of them wanted to let go of the warm, comforting embrace and instead stayed silently together for a long while.

Annie, having leaned her head back into Mikasa’s shoulder by now, quietly stared into the water stream as she mumbled a soft: “Hey… Mikasa…”

“Hm?”

Her mind seemed to have wandered long, twisted ways in the meantime for what was on her tongue. She hesitated at first, biting her lip, before she mumbled with a voice full of concern: ”… Don’t kill yourself when you bring Eren back, okay?”

The dark haired woman didn’t respond at first. She looked down, and while Annie silently was waiting for an answer, she let out a quiet sigh.

Before she could say something, Annie could guess which words would leave her mouth, the smaller woman moved her head up to look at Mikasa, who purposely averted her gaze “Mikasa, I mean it. I – know that you’re set on bringing him back… but please – be careful.”

“I’ll try, but…” The moment that those words left the tall woman’s mouth, a small frown started to appear on Annie’s face. Mikasa turned her head to look at the smaller woman, her brows furrowed together while stressing: “But I can’t lose him. I won’t let it happen, under any circumstances.”

“Look –“ Now it was Annie’s turn to sigh out – “I get that…”

“But please – think about it.” Annie tilted her head as she got lost in her thoughts, her frown being overshadowed by a deep dark, sad shadow over her eyes, her voice beginning to tremble slightly again. “I… I couldn’t save the last person of my family. And – of course I don’t want you to suffer from the same…. But I also want to spare Eren that pain.”

Mikasa’s heart grew heavy as she listened, knowing deep down how very right she was, and what Annie was trying to say with it. As she saw Annie staring right at her, she immediately glanced away, biting her lip and feeling her throat swell when Annie hit the bulls eye of the problem: “You both are your last family members.”

“I –“ Mikasa couldn’t find a proper response to it. A deep sigh left her lips and she looked down onto the cold floor. But no matter how much she twisted and turned it in her head to find a reason why sacrificing herself would do the trick – she couldn’t deny how right Annie was. In a last attempt she hoped to find a defense attempt in her mumbling: “I– Know… I just– ”

But before she finished the last word, Annie interrupted her with a concerned yet stern voice as she pled: “So promise me that you’ll return with him?”

“…. I will.”

_**The end** _


End file.
